When Trump meets Bolmondoley

Joke writers have a tough time with President Trump. He creates so many opportunities for jokes that they have little to do. Or he says something which is too difficult to decipher, and it may or may not be funny. One such occasion was the use of the word “bigly” which is supposed to be a new word he invented.

However, experts have concluded that it was a wrong transcription of the more common “Big league”, particularly as his brand of New York English was not understood by most. More on this here:

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-37483869

and here: http://edition.cnn.com/videos/politics/2017/01/25/bag-the-bigly-moos-pkg-erin.cnn/video/playlists/wacky-world-of-jeanne-moos/

There are, of course, place names and person’s names similar to “bigly’, like this one-time English cricketer:

http://www.espncricinfo.com/england/content/player/12454.html

But British English has its share of pitfalls with words often being spelt in a way which do not reflect the pronunciation. Like Cholmondoley. Think you can pronounce it?

Find out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NTLkJqpC-A

The humorous possibilities in Cholmondoley being pronounced as Chumly was not lost on music-hall comedians of a century ago, who were noted for their low level of humour. Some examples can be seen here:

http://audiotalk.proboards.com/thread/3587

One example of such corny humour was bringing someone on stage with a placard saying “Bolmondeley”. Go figure.

Meet Hardik Patel-not the one you are thinking of

The name’s Patel. Hardik Patel.

Unlike my better-known namesake, I only trouble opposing batsmen.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/content/player/793915.html

https://cricket.yahoo.com/photos/india-a-vs-south-africans-slideshow/hardik-patel-of-india-a-take-the-wicket-of-david-miller-of-south-africa-during-the-t20-warm-up-photo-1443529291229.html

For example, see this scorecard for the Irani Cup:

http://www.espncricinfo.com/irani-cup-2016-17/engine/match/1053705.html

Maybe one day the national selectors will accidentally include me instead of Hardik Pandya. (Something of this sort happened because of confusion between two J.Yadavs some years ago).

The Devil’s scoreboard and other devilry

It had to happen one day in a Test: 666/6

devils-score

On the 4th day of the India vs England Test at Chennai, 19 Dec 2016.

Meanwhile, here is the Devil’s own locomotive (picture credit Sachin Balwatkar). It is now homed at Sabarmati shed, and was homed at Mhow some years ago. There were also some 666* s homed at Golden Rock.

loco-6666

More from the Devil’s domain here: Hell, Norway:

hell-signboard

And the railway station there:

hell-station

You may think that God has some influence here:

hell-goods-shed

However, this is Norwegian for “Goods dispatch”

In closing, there has to be at least one joke involving devils. Here is one from 2016, which refers to the US presidential election:

trump-devil

 

The US Presidential elections and Indian place names

As the saturation coverage of the US elections will continue for a while, we may as well try to match their leader’s names to place names in India.

While the incumbent President Barack Obama came to India more than once, he does not seem to have visited this place:

barrackpore

His predecessor Jimmy Carter did indeed have a village near Gurgaon named after him. Supposedly his mother had been there with the Peace Corps at one time:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carterpuri

A halt station called Carterpuri (between Bijwasan and Gurgaon) was listed in the timetable for a few years, though it seems to have closed down long ago and no trace of it can be seen now. A new station called Palam Vihar Halt was built some years later in the same general area, though no trains appear to stop there now.

When Bill Clinton was President, the combination of him and the First Lady was referred to as Billary. Therefore, a logical place for them to visit is:

bellary-map

although it has now been renamed to:

ballari-new

If (somehow) Donald Trump wins, he could visit the small town of McDonald’s Choultry in Tamil Nadu, though the station (between Salem and Erode) was long ago renamed to:

magudan-chavadi

This name change in the 1970s was perhaps the first step against the McDonaldization of India.

We close with this one currently making the rounds on social media, presumably taken in around 1970:

bill-and-hillary

Also read this one: https://abn397.wordpress.com/2015/01/14/present-and-past-us-presidents/

Famous Diesels

The original inventor Rudolf Diesel 

The French police dog Diesel who was martyred in the terror attacks in France in 2015:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diesel_(dog) . She deserves to have her picture here:

diesel-dog

 

The other famous Mr Diesel: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vin_Diesel

The Italian clothing brand: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diesel_(brand) 

which often features in jokes about Rahul Gandhi and the prices of petrol and diesel.

And finally the icon of Indian Railways:

 

 

The ding and the dong

You would probably not think much of dings and dongs except in the context of bells (and American slang). However, the disambiguation feature of Wikipedia tells us about several other dings and dongs:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ding

There are a couple of examples from India which Wikipedia did not catch-such as the small railway station of Ding in Haryana:

https://www.google.co.in/maps/@29.4609337,75.2582959,15z

It is served by a number of trains (mainly slow passenger trains) between Hisar and Bathinda.

You may also have heard of Ding as a derogatory term for Anglo-Indians. The internet has an explanation for this, apparently from a blogger from Tamil Nadu:

http://www.samosapedia.com/e/dingo

Not sure if that was to be taken seriously. However there is a traditional Anglo-Indian dish called ding ding, which is called jerky in other countries:

http://bridgetwhite-angloindianrecipes.blogspot.in/2014/08/ding-ding-savoury-sundried-meat-crispies.html

The dong has many more meanings including names and places, and even a large company based in Scandinavia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dong

Dong is a common name in China and Vietnam, where Pham van Dong was one of the architects of their victory over the US: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ph%E1%BA%A1m_V%C4%83n_%C4%90%E1%BB%93ng

Then there is the Vietnamese dong, which until recently was the least valuable world currency unit. More recently the thinly traded Iranian rial has taken this position.

At the moment the US dollar will get you over 22,400 VND (Vietnamese dong). while the Indian rupee will get you over 330. Even the Indonesian rupiah will get you 1.6 VND. The most valuable currency unit is the Kuwaiti dinar, which will get you 3.29 US dollars, 221 Indian rupees or…73,800 Vietnamese dong.

And Dong is the easternmost village in India. Its population fits into three huts. You still have to travel about 20 km further east to reach the tri-junction of India, China and Myanmar.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dong,_Arunachal_Pradesh

This map shows its location more clearly:

https://www.google.co.in/maps/@28.0680455,96.7613483,10z

There is no railway line anywhere in that area, though there are stations such as Dongargaon and Dongargarh:

This station used to have a large steam shed earlier. It lies in Chhattisgarh on the main line from Mumbai to Kolkata.

Then there is the more common American usage for the dong, which needs no explanation.

Colonel Bogey and his successors

Most adults in Commonwealth countries have heard this tune, possibly through military bands which still play it. It dates back to 1914, but the words came later during World War 2. It became famous worldwide with the film “Bridge on the River Kwai” which was released in 1957, but was still making the rounds of cinemas in India in the 1970s.

Here is the “official version” by a British army band: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxguy0BYNzE

You are more likely to have seen this version from the film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4k4NEAIk3PU

Although most of the film was shot in Sri Lanka, the actual bridge still stands in Thailand and is a popular tourist destination: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nYT79oxzBI

It is not very close to Bangkok, but many conducted tours will take you there and back in a day.

The tune became so ingrained in popular culture that: “Since the film portrayed prisoners of war held under inhumane conditions by the Japanese, there was a diplomatic row in May 1980, when a military band played “Colonel Bogey” during a visit to Canada by Japanese prime minister Masayoshi Ōhira”

As to the lyrics, Wikipedia goes into them in great detail: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitler_Has_Only_Got_One_Ball   Most versions had only the first four lines, though longer versions exist. Variations in the second line mention local prominent buildings such as the Albert Hall in London and the Free Trade Hall in Manchester. Also, as General Rommel was one of the few German military leaders who was respected by soldiers on the other side, the second line sometimes became “Rommel has three but small”. The more obscure variations (particularly on the second verse) are here:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Hitler_Has_Only_Got_One_Ball

Indian schoolboys made up other variations such as:

Hitler, he had but one big ball,

Rommel, he had three but small,

Nehru, he went to Peru,

And poor Gandhi, he had none at all.